Day Six: In Which We Get Really, Really Wet.

Today we find out why the inside cabins are so much cheaper, as we get up at the unGodly hour of 0500 to get breakfast before our shore excursion meeting time of 0645, slather on sunscreen, and go outside to find Acapulco pitch dark and pouring rain.  Sigh.

After hastily gulping down some food and much-needed coffee, we met up with today's excursion, the Shotover Jet Boats in the Puerto Marquez tropical lagoon.  I wasn't sure they would go on with it, but it turns out they do, equipping us with towels and rain ponchos and wishes for good luck. 

In my guidebook, it says Acapulco is sunny roughly 360 days of the year, so apparently we've gotten lucky and hit one of the 5.  We load onto a bus and the guide drives us out to a lookout part-way to the lagoon for some photos of Acapulco Bay.

It's really a pretty town, from a distance at least--we're sorry we don't have much time to explore it, as our ship sails at 1pm.

We continue on towards Puerto Marquez, which is said to have the highest Mangroves in the world.  It's situated in sort of an odd area, where a wealthy-appearing golf course is right next to an area that looked like trash pick hadn't happened in the last month or so.  They divide us into two groups, at which time we have to wait around for them to find another jet boat and clean out the water and debris.

We finally get in and our driver speeds us along the waterways at high speeds, occasionally whipping us around in 360 degree turns.  It's fun and would be even more fun if it weren't still pouring, causing the rain to pelt us in the face with the force of a dermabrasion treatment.

Here's a sample picture of us, and no, you can't see me, as I'm cowering behind my poncho, trying not to have my face blasted off by the force of the water.

Later, he drove us into the mangrove groves.  The trees are remarkable for their dense root structures that extend out of the water.  They must be fast-growing, as they have to regularly machete open tunnels for the boats to maneuver through.  Sometimes the ends of the roots are so close in, he has to tell everyone to duck down to avoid them.

As we enter an area with such heavy mangrove growth it almost acts as a cave, I take the opportunity to get some photos.  This may be a mistake, as later I notice the camera has escaped it's plastic bag and gotten rather wet.

 

Anyway, it's pretty fun as I said, although the other boat apparently has problems and breaks down, causing them to all have to be taken off and then put back on again after it was fixed.

We then are given the opportunity to buy a cd of the photos, which we end up doing, despite the fact that all you can really see of us are our ponchos. 

After the bus ride back, we hire a cab to take us to the cliff diver area, wait for us, and then drive us back to the port terminal.  He drops us off and we happen to walk in the same time as one of the Disney tours, which reassures us that there will be another show soon (there doesn't appear to be a regular schedule.)  I think it also saves us admission fee, as I notice fee signage on our way out, but no one ever asked us for any money.

We see some of the cliff divers just finished from one drive, and have the sense that, perhaps, these are not the ones prominently featured in the advertisements, and Love Boat.

We find a place to spectate and hunker down, at least as well as can be expected when everything is soaked from the recent rain (now stopped, thank goodness.)

This is the cliff that they dive off of, and the shrine on top where they pray before diving, presumably for not-death.  It is about this time that I begin to think the camera may not be happy about the whole getting wet thing earlier, as it begins to randomly emit loud "CRACK" sounds that resemble gunfire.  I manage to keep it working for most of the dives, but it is clearly needing a rest.

Finally, after much waiting, the divers jump into the water, swim to the other side, and climb up the side of the cliff.  All except the guys at the top that just suddenly appear from the back.  It makes you think no one tells the newbies about the elevator.

Nobody dies, and the cab driver is still waiting for us when we come out, so we consider the whole thing a success, although I am still concerned about the camera.

We make our way back onto the boat, and are greeted by a familiar face on boarding.

After some recovery time and a lesson in origami flower folding, we go for dinner in Animator's tonight.

The curry crab nachos are a little different than what I expected but still makes a good pairing with the mango salsa-thing that accompanies it.  Ox enjoys the grilled shrimp and scallops, but has difficulty taking the shell off, as the grilling makes the shell stick to the shrimp like nobody's business.

As our entertainment, Minnie comes in and does a little dancing, Mexican-style.  They have a Mexicali deck party up top, but we don't make it because in general, our server doesn't seem to be able to get us out of dinner in shorter than 2-2.5 hours.

I mean, he seems really nice and is always enthusiastic about greeting us when we get there, but then he'll disappear for 30-45 minutes at a shot between courses.  Periodically the Head Server comes by to ask if there's anything he can do for us, and I always feel like saying "yes.  Can you check on R---?  Because I think he might be dead."

The night ends with a churro eclair, as the deck party buffet supplants the usual midnight buffet and, alas, no chocolate covered strawberries.  Apparently they aren't Mexicali enough.

Day Five: In Which We Spend A Leisurely Day at Sea.

After the day's excitement yesterday, we tended to be a little inert on today's sea day.  In the morning, there was a cooking seminar called "Art of Entertaining" in which they prepared chicken breast rolled with ratatouille--interesting, but I think not something we'll be preparing anytime soon.  (Our lack of enthusiasm for it might have been due to the fact that we had just come from breakfast, where we gorged on eggs benedict and all manner of breakfast-y items.)

After a short nap interval, we went to Captain Ken Puckett's lecture on transiting through the Panama Canal. 

He had been a Senior Pilot and Port Captain on the Panama Canal for 16 years (now retired,) and spoke on the mechanics of piloting a ship through a canal with 2 feet of clearance on either side and the dangers thereof.  It was relatively complicated, and the whole thing makes you wonder how anyone thought of it all in the first place.

Afterwards, we wandered past the art auction, where they were prominently auctioning off art by Disney Artist John Rowe who was in residence for the first part of the cruise.  He started one work when he got on board, and was painting it every night until the auction, when it was completed.  He does a lot of art for movie posters, and all the covers for the latest Black Stallion books.

The art was gorgeous, however when they started the bids at $10,000, we kept walking.

We had some spare time in the programming at this point, and still not hungry for lunch, we indulged in more quality lolling about until it was time for the Castaway Clubhouse reception.  The one of these I had been to before was a fairly small gathering of past Disney cruisers, however on this cruise the vast majority of everyone has cruised on Disney before.  I think they said this was the most number of repeat cruisers they had ever had--around 2036 or so.  There were so many they held it up on Goofy's Pool Stage, which basically made it into another deck party.

It was something of a zoo, with people jostling around trying to collect small plates of appetizers and margaritas.  They gave away 20 travel clocks, which seemed a little skimpy given the number of people involved, and then pretty much called it.  I thought this could have been done better if they had broken it into two smaller receptions but maybe it's just bitterness from not getting any Mickey Mouse rice krispy treats this time around.

Anyway, we had enough to to get ready for the show for the evening, which was Ronn Lucas, comedian and ventriloquist. 

He put on a very clever show--one thing about the Disney cruises, they've definitely given us a new appreciation for ventriloquists.

Dinner tonight was at Lumiere's for "French Dinner."  Getting ready for it, we meet Felindro's latest towel creation.

The French Dinner menu probably has the same relation to what French people eat, as the California menu had to what Californians eat, but it's pretty good anyway.

Ox has the escargot, and I have the coquilles St. Jacques, which is a little salty but still tasty.  One thing about Lumiere's, the meal seems to take an enormously long time to get served.  I don't think we've eaten there for dinner yet, when it took less than 2-2.5 hours.

In the middle of dinner, we are joined briefly by some familiar faces:

The light fixtures are cute, as they have the Beast's rose inside, with some dropped petals lying on the bottom of the glass case.

Tonight's creme brulee is an improvement over the preceding ones, as the top is a little harder.  There is something sad that we've had enough recently to mount a comparison.

I believe the 11th commandment is "Thou Shalt Have Chocolate Covered Strawberries And Rejoice."

Tomorrow:  Acapulco.

Day Four: In Which I Experience Mules, Unimogs, and Ziplines, Oh My.

On this day, we arrived at Puerta Vallarta at around 0930.  We had an unexceptional breakfast buffet at Parrot Cay, where an overworked omelette chef really earned his pay, and the smoked salmon was really salty.  I had an excursion planned with Vallarta Adventures called Outdoor Adventures which involved being taken to a jungle in the Sierra Madres where you would get to ride ziplines through the forest, rappel down waterfalls, cross suspension bridges, etc. 

All I have to say is:  OH MY GOSH, YOU GUYS, YOU HAVE TO DO THIS!  IT WAS THE COOLEST THING EVER!

Seriously.  It started out with a short walk to an Apex speedboat where our shoes were taken hostage and we sat on what resembled small boxes with no seatbelts.  This became slightly alarming as the boat took off at warp speed, careening across the waves, with relatively few handholds of any kind.

Our destination is Boca de Tomatlan, on the other side of Banderas Bay.  It's at the edge of the Sierra Madre jungle.

Having arrived there and rescuing our shoes, we are introduced to our next method of transport, the 4x4 Unimog.

This results in the oddest, yet familiar, mix of sensations, as the ride feels just like Indiana Jones and the Temple of Mara, the outside looks just like Kilimanjaro Safari, and the inside looks like something out of M*A*S*H.

When we arrived at the Base Camp, they confiscated all our stuff and outfitted us with bandanas, harnesses, pulleys, and helmets.  Afterwards, they offered to sell us photos of the experience for $18 each, which is why I have none to show you today.  Suffice it to say that we boarded some mules, of which mine seemed vaguely disenchanted with the idea of toting my bloated cruise-ship mass up to the top of the mountain, and then ziplined our way down.  En route, we hiked a bit (ugh,) forded streams, crossed high suspension bridges, ziplined straight into rivers, sat in the water on the edge of a waterfall, rappelled down the side of said waterfall (with and without wall contact,) and generally got incredibly wet and muddy.  It was enormous fun, right up until my pulley broke, which turns out to be way less exciting than you'd think.

On return to camp, we retrieved our things and were offered a snack of chips and salsa, and a soda you could buy for $2.  I'm sure the salsa was fine, but after spending the last few days in an environment where you can't even look at food without getting hosed down by a Hazmat team, it just seemed a little dicey.

Later, on the way back, we had our obligatory shopping stop at a Tequila factory that resembled someone's house.

Tequila is apparently grown from plants related to orchids, and then something happens with that big spoon and...actually, I think the salesguy was a little vague on the details.  Mostly I think he said that they don't use donkeys anymore, and then started pouring everyone samples of tequila.  For those of us who don't drink, we mostly spent the time watching the kids and dogs play with fetch with the water bottles which probably came from some exotic place like the Sam's Club across from the ship's dock.  I was surprised, however, that the tequilaguy ended up asking for tips afterwards--for a 2-minute tequila sales pitch?  Maybe he should ask for a larger commission from the tequila sales.

On the way back, it begins to rain a little.

This doesn't seem like a big deal until you remember that photo I took of the speed boat earlier.  Remember how there's no top?  Remember how it goes really fast?  The ride back was like riding in your car, on the freeway, in pelting rain, with the top and sides down.  We did, however, see a pod of dolphins frolicking in the waves, and maybe a whale, although it was far away, and rain was denting our corneas.

By the time I returned to the ship, it was about 6:30pm.  I had thought that maybe I could collect Mom and grab a cab out to the main downtown area for a quick look around, but I was soaked to the skin and muddy, and it was also pouring rain so our enthusiasm waned.  A shower and time of unconsciousness later, we went to dinner.

The appetizers were very good--duck  with puff pastry, and tuna carpaccio.

My entree, however, left a great deal to be desired:  Smoked salmon, which was incredibly salty, on wheat fettuccini, which had been cooked not quite to "al dente," but rather to "al hard-e."  Ox enjoys his entree much better--the halibut with asparagus.  Tonight's theme was California cuisine, which leads me to think the country must have a skewed idea of what we eat in California.

No, these were not all my desserts (ice cream sundae with toasted marshmallow, sugar-free cappuccino mousse, flourless chocolate cake,) but they could have been...I didn't get lunch, remember?  Remember?

Our latest towel animal blesses us with her presence.  We take advantage of the fact that the rain has stopped, and make a mad dash to the Wal-Mart across the street from the dock to see if there is anything excitingly Puerta Vallerta-ish about it.  Mom gets a t-shirt, and I get a bottle of apple soda and we make our way back, satisfied.  Unfortunately, it means that we get back too late to catch the midnight buffets with the chocolate-covered strawberries.  Noooooo!  Why, God?  Whyyyy?!

Tomorrow:  A Day at Sea.

Day Three: In Which We Ride Horses and Melt Like Butter in the Sun.

As usual, we get up and make our way to Lumiere's for some breakfast and much needed coffee.

I have Mrs. Pott's Belgian waffles, which ends up being very similar to Ariel's Belgian waffles on the Wonder.  It's no Tonga Toast, but it's good anyway.

Later we go to Sessions where I meet up with my excursion group, and Mom takes a look at Cabo San Lucas from a porthole.

We are given Pinocchio stickers to make us easy to identify as Disney Freaks to all the casual passers-by and vendors.  After being walked out into the broiling heat, they stick us inside the naval offices and then make us wait there for a considerably long time until marching us out to a van and driving us about an hour into the desert.  I fall asleep, so they could have left us there, and I'd probably have been coyote bait.  Or whatever the Mexican equivalent of coyote bait is.

We arrive at the Carisuva ranch and are greeted by a few goats and dogs ambling about. 

Our guide, Dave, gives a little talk about the two cardinal rules of horseback riding:  Don't walk behind the horse, and don't get off by yourself.  I manage to almost break both rules by the time I've been on about 5 minutes.

The Guide once walked behind a horse and one of the other guests pointed out the rule against it.  "Ah, but Sir," the Guide replied, "I am Mexican." 

After getting on the horse and then persuading the Guide to get off his horse and go pick up my hat from where it flew off onto the ground, we begin riding out through a desert-like environment filled with what looks like the skeletal remains of bushes.

After successfully avoiding being scraped up against cacti by the horse, we make it onto the beach, which is appropriately beautiful.

They ride us down from one end, back to the other end, which makes for a relatively short ride in relation to the time spent getting here and back.  Still and all, there aren't all that many places where they'll let you ride on the beach anymore.

After declining to purchase their $10 photos (printed on actual cactus paper!  From real cactus!) we are returned to the pier, where I meet Mom arriving from the boat.

We totally decompensate in the heat, walking down the main shopping drag.  All the stores seem basically the same as the stores in Nassau, where we've never been able to find anything we want, anyway.  We stop at Cabo Wabo, a bar/restaurant apparently owned by Sammy Hagar of Van Halen fame and purchase souvenirs for those who might care for that sort of thing.  Then we flee back to the ship.

Dinner tonight was at Animator's Palette--Show Dinner.  I think a lot of people have become blase about the effects in this restaurant, but I still like it.

The menu has changed slightly from the last time I ate here, but the seafood wrappers are still here.  Oddly enough, the service turns out to be very slow at this point; slow to the point where we think something may have actually happened to our server, as he disappears and doesn't reappear after taking our order until most other tables are mostly through their next course.  We notice that the wrappers have cucumber instead of the described avocado, and contemplate that the delay was the kitchen trying to decide what to use instead.

Two items that look to have been changed up a little--instead of mushrooms in puff pastry, they're now in a risotto which was nice, once it finally arrived.  The filet now comes with scallops and a spinach-mushroom mix embedded in potatoes.  The meat is cooked just right, however they break their winning streak with the scallops, that are a little sandy.

After dinner, there is really only one dessert at the Animator's: 

Chocolate and peanut butter pie, which is delicious but served on a regular dish, rather than the cute artist's palette plates of yesteryear.

You're also never too full for chocolate covered strawberries.  It was Ox!  I swear!

Tomorrow:  Puerto Vallarta and the Outdoor Adventure.